1. Dogs are always happy to see you. (People can fake smiles, but dogs can't fake wagging tails)
2. Dogs appreciate your terrible cooking even if no one else does.
3. Dogs are excellent listeners, and they never say "I told you so".
4. Dogs are incapable of deceit. Well, mostly.
5. Dogs are never too busy to hang out.
6. Dogs really will love you forever, and they don't need to perform grand gestures to prove it.
7. Dogs do strange, silly little things...and they don't get offended if you laugh.
8. Dogs can't hold a grudge, and are never stingy with affection.
9. Dogs don't care about your looks, status or bank balance.
10. Dogs will never judge you, no matter how many times you mess up.
AND
1. Diamonds are rocks, people. Pretty rocks...but still rocks.
2. Diamonds are not very good at returning affection...or anything else.
3. Diamonds are forever. And some people pay for them forever, too.
4. Diamonds bought by men for women are called bedroom bling. You put them on, you take everything else off.
5. Diamonds are a great way to learn responsibility (when your credit card company starts calling), compassion (for all those who can't afford diamonds), and generosity (through your regular contribution to De Beers).
6. It makes perfect sense to spend a few months' rent on something that decorates your ears. Or your neck, or your finger. Because you're worth it, says another company that only wants your money.
7. Diamond rings symbolise commitment, love, fidelity and eternal happiness, according to American Swiss. And after the divorce I guess they can symbolise alimony and child support.
8. Diamonds can't protect you from intruders. Actually, they kind of attract them.
9. Diamonds aren't any prettier than any other precious stone. Really. Look hard.
10. Diamonds put a sparkle on your body, but not in your heart. (And because they're inanimate objects, they can't even appreciate how corny that last line was.)
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